her vagine was all disorganized.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
