Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
