did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
