i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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