no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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