Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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