coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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