Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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