So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
