The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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