So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
