Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I had to cum in my sink.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
