it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
