How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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