We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
