Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Drake has all the answers
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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