Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
