Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Enjoy the penises
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
