Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
