that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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