is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
This baby is an asshole
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
