if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
only you would photoshop your dick
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
