I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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