You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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