Just mADE A PArabola og urine
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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