i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
