that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
We're too hungover to prance.
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