I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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