I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
