Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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