It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
