I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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