Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
vagina is talking i cant
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
