There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize