I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
he was CRYING into my vagina
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
True college students do jello shots in the library
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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