Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
