yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
3 2 1 whiskey
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
