so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
