I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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