your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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