You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
