Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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