Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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