We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
