i need an iv and a liver transplant
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
