paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Come share oat with me in your robe
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
