Is it normal to miss your booty call?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
