stop calling my apartment porn island.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
