Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
