We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
