Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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