i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
