It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
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