I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
