you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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