well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
