We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Randomize
