He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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