Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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